Friday, June 27, 2008


We watched the DVD of "Long Wait for Home" recently and it got me to wondering again a lot of things about Jacob and what happened to him after he was born.

For those of you who might not know about the DVD, we bought it from It's by Dr. Changfu Chang and it considers such questions as (reprinting what is on the back cover): "Who are the birth parents and under what circumstances do they decide to give away their beautiful babies? How do children end up in orphanages and what kinds of lives do they live there? Moreover, with so many 'foreigners' going to China to pick up these Chinese babies, what do the average Chinese people feel and think about Americans and international adoption?"

I don't want to give away too much, in case you might want to see it yourselves.

In the video, Dr. Chang actually interviewed a pair of couples who gave up children for adoption. That was pretty eye-opening to me. That's a perspective I haven't heard before. Their reasons were the same we've all heard — couldn't afford the child, couldn't have a second child — but it was heart-wrenching to hear how they spoke of the kids they had to give up. Even now, years later, they still get so emotional and tear up when talking about them. They hope the girls are prospering in America with loving families. One family left a note with the child saying they would go to a certain bridge on a certain date each year, hoping they could meet up again. They still go there, even though their daughter now lives in the U.S.

The footage from the orphanage was about what I expected it to be. Same with the reactions from the average Chinese about international adoption, I think. Most were favorable, saying they hoped the "foreigners" took care of the children and loved them. Then, there was the guy who said he thought people were adopting the children to be used for medical experiments. Hmmmm. The cynic in me wonders if what the people were saying is what they really thought and were they just saying what they thought Dr. Chang wanted to hear.

All of this got me to wondering, though, what Jacob's birth parents thought when he was born. Why did they give him up? Was it because they were poor? Was his birth mother a single mom? Were they disappointed he had a cleft lip and palate? Were they horrified he had a special need?

I may never know — more than likely it's a guarantee I won't know — any of those answers. But, I do know this. Whoever his birth parents are, they loved him enough that they left him where he could be found and taken somewhere so he could be cared for and treated. For that, I am going to be forever thankful.

I also don't think it was all by chance. I think there has been a guiding hand every step of the way bringing him and us together.


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