Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Why international adoption?

Just this past month I got my first real negative comment about China adoption, although I'm sure the woman had the best of intentions.
So I thought I'd share about why we chose international adoption. First, we didn't just jump into this. We went through some traditional routes before we settled on Department of Human Services in Oklahoma, where we sat and waited for nearly three years.
Maybe we were too picky, maybe our social workers were just burned out (we're on our fourth) or maybe it just wasn't meant to be. We went through a course that taught us how to restrain our child (albeit they said we probably would never use it) and that definitely wasn't what we were looking for in a family.
Domestic adoption was quoted at about $30,000 upfront, money we just don't have. And while I admit we didn't look further into that realm (opting to try DHS) we were not comfortable with the U.S. court system's lack of precedent when it comes to standing up for the adoptive parent.
All of these may seem obstacles easily overcome by those who do not understand adopting internationally when there are so many children here in the United States, and I will admit that even we did not at one time in our long journey see ourselves on this pathway. However, from the minute we left the China adoption seminar we knew this was our destiny for our family. And all the struggles and stress with the long wait for referral (which has stretched up to two years and is expected to go beyond) has not changed that at all.
We are able to pay for our adoption costs as the expenses come up, and so far that means we have been able to save all the money we have needed (it's very important to us to not go into debt.)
In China, it is illegal to abandon a child, and after a certain waiting period when no one identifies the child ( through newspaper advertisements) then the child legally is declared an orphan, and no one will contest the adoption in the future.
Reading the history of China shows a need for a home for these children (most are girls, but there also are male orphans).
But we aren't looking to save the world. We're only looking for a family.
I hope this helps.

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